Month: July 2015

In the Beginning I was 278 Pounds…

In the Beginning I was 278 Pounds...I had my 6 month check up on Monday and I weighed in at a whopping 278 pounds. This is the largest I’ve ever been and I’m not going to stand for it anymore. At the end of this check up, I learned, not only do I still have high blood pressure and high cholesterol, but I also have type 2 diabetes. I’ve been teetering on the edge for quite some time but I never thought I’d fall. Well, it looks like I was wrong.

Like everyone else who struggles with weight loss, I’ve tried just about everything to lose the pounds. My problem is that, while I have good intentions, my follow through sucks balls! Each time, I’ve started strong only to hurt myself or let something throw me off course. Right now, I no longer have that option. Despite how I feel or what I’d rather do, my health must be front and center of everything in my life. I’ve made it clear to myself and everyone around me that I don’t love myself and that stops now.

I guess it was sometime last year, when I was floating around in the pool, that my brain started chattering away about me. It was so intense that I had to get out of the pool and write it all down. It just wasn’t going to let it go. So, out I got and wrote until my brain finally shut up about it. Here’s what I figured out (and, yes, it still applies):

What do I like about myself?

  1. Sense of humor
  2. Compassionate
  3. Intelligent
  4. Legs
  5. Hands
  6. Face
  7. Hair

What don’t I like about myself?

  1. Weight/Health
  2. Boobs
  3. Perfectionist tendencies
  4. I expect too much
  5. Acne scars
  6. Laziness

How can I change what I don’t like?

1. I need to exercise for at least 30 minutes each day. I need to eat better foods; more whole grains, fruits, and veggies. I need to track all of my food and exercise using the LoseIt app. I must exercise first thing in the morning so that I actually do it!

2. Unless I have plastic surgery, there’s not a whole lot I can do about this one. My boobs don’t bother me enough to willingly have surgery that’s going to render me virtually useless for a few weeks.

3. I don’t want to settle for close enough is good enough, but I don’t want to keep adding stress to my life either. I have to learn to accept that my best is good enough. Not everyone is going to be happy with me or what I do, but I’m not responsible for anyone’s happiness but mine.

4. I need to learn to expect absolutely nothing or to accept that whatever wasn’t meant to be. Basically, I need a more positive outlook on things and people. Not everyone is as thoughtful or considerate as me.

5. These scars could be much worse than they are and I’m grateful they aren’t. I could spend hundreds of dollars on chemical peels, which would lessen the scars but leave me confined to the house because of peeling. Or, I can accept them as a badge of courage and find new techniques to covering them using makeup.

6. I need to just get things done so that I can stay on track. Even if I don’t want to do it, I have to suck it up and get it done. I need to remind myself that the more I get done, the less I have to do the next day. What an example to set for the boys!

This was all well before my diagnosis but it definitely still applies. Maybe diabetes was the kick in the ass I needed – I don’t know. I’d hate to think that I let myself get this far gone before I took action but, let’s be real, that’s exactly what happened. I failed at taking care of myself – period. I could ramble off excuse after excuse but that’s the real deal.

How did I let myself get to 278 pounds?!

The answer is simple – I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, and I didn’t exercise. I was lazy. I struggle with emotional eating, skipping meals, and always making excuses as to why I can’t do this or can’t do that. My favorite go-to excuse was that I didn’t have time. Bullshit! I didn’t make time – there’s a difference. I waited until the last horn blew to get off my ass and do something about it. I’m a triple threat and not in the way I want to be but I’ll get there.

So, what I am doing differently now?

Well, as of Monday, my entire world changed. It’s all whole grains for me, counting calories and carbs, and cutting way back on sugar. That was the hardest because I love my iced coffees from Dunkin’ Donuts. I started Metformin today and I’ve also been testing my glucose once a day. Now that’s a pain in the ass! The Metformin is no walk in the friggin’ park either. It’s like trying to swallow a dime. I grew out of that stuff a long time ago! 😉 I’ve researched the hell out of type 2 diabetes. I’m talking recipes, carb counts, glucose levels, everything. I’ve spent a lot time really learning about it and taking it all in.

What’s to come?

Who the hell knows but I can tell you this – I will NEVER see 278 pounds again! I know – never say never – but, trust me when I say that I will never see it again. I’m not going to let it happen!

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Stop Apologizing for these 5 Things Now!

Stop Apologizing for these 5 Things Now!Apologizing is something that we’re taught to do when we’ve made a mistake or done something wrong. It’s important to apologize when it’s necessary but how do you know when it’s necessary? There are many things we currently apologize for that we shouldn’t and it’s time to stop – NOW! To help you get started, here are 5 things to stop apologizing for.

Saying No

You don’t need to apologize for saying no to anyone. It’s important for you to set and keep boundaries with everyone in order to keep your sanity. Trust me, saying yes to everything gets old – fast. Saying no says that you have respect for yourself and that you’re more interested in taking care of yourself than being everything for everyone.

I usually feel guilty when I have to tell someone no but that feeling, eventually, goes away. It’s not a good feeling but I’d rather feel that bit of unnecessary guilt than resentment because I agreed to do something I really didn’t want to do or have the time to do.

If you can’t give 100%, why say yes? If you don’t have time, why say yes? If you don’t want to do it, why say yes? These are the questions you should ask yourself when someone asks you to do something.

Your Imperfections

By nature, humans are not perfect beings so stop apologizing for not being perfect. Always be true to yourself and embrace your imperfections because they make you who you are. Being imperfect allows room for growth and improvement and that makes us better versions of ourselves.

No matter what your imperfections are, we all have them. No matter what anyone says, no one is perfect and that’s a fact. Just in case you need a reminder, here ya go.

Don-t-compare-your-backstage-to-someone-else-s-hig
Image courtesy: http://boldomatic.com/view/post/rTaTaA

Taking Time for Yourself

We all need time to refresh and recharge and that’s exactly what time alone does. I generally spend every Saturday alone and I relish every minute of it. Even though I’m usually catching up on housework, I’m still alone – not having to listen to anyone fight and argue.

Being alone with your thoughts and emotions provides you an opportunity to get to know yourself on a deeper level. Spend this time doing something you enjoy. For me, I get my chores out of the way first and then I spend the rest of the day reading, swimming (weather permitting) or whatever else I enjoy.

Another Person

Despite what you may think or believe, you’re only responsible for your behavior. If you do something that isn’t right, by all means apologize, but don’t apologize for another person. It’s not your place to take responsibility for anyone else’s behavior.

There have been times when I’ve apologized for my children but they’re the only ones I will apologize for – up to a point. I refuse to ever apologize for another grown person; they know how to behave. If they don’t, they’re never too old to learn.

Being Honest

It’s true – sometimes the truth hurts but there’s no reason to apologize for being honest. There’s a big difference between honest and being rude so be sure you’re aware of that. There’s no need to be rude so always be tactful. Being honest shows just how strong you truly are and that should be celebrated.

The Point

It’s time to stop apologizing for everything – especially those things that are out of your control. Furthermore, never, ever compromise your integrity for anyone else because it’s just not worth it. If you’re always true to yourself everything else will fall into place.

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How to Increase Productivity with Meal Planning

How to Increase Productivity with Meal PlanningIncreasing productivity isn’t just a solo sport – get your entire family involved with meal planning! Many people associate meal planning with weight loss, but it’s not just helpful for that. At the end of each week, my husband and I sit down and plan out our dinners for the next week and then we head out to the grocery store. So, how does this increase productivity?

With a meal plan, I know exactly what we’re having for dinner every night. There’s no thinking about it, no guessing, and no wasting time trying to find something to defrost. When it’s left up to me to figure it out, I inevitably take out something that no one else wants to eat. Meal planning eliminates all of that crap, which saves me a TON of time and energy.

I take it one step further for myself and plan out my breakfast and lunch each day, too. I’m trying to eat healthy and planning my meals helps keep me on track with my goals. There have been many times where I have cooked ahead and frozen foods so all I have to do during the week is defrost something. I usually do this during the weeks when we’re really busy in the evenings because it saves a lot of time.

When we’re planning the meals for the week, I have my Filofax on-hand so I know what nights are busier than others. Knowing what’s ahead for the week really helps us plan our meals better because, if we’re really busy one evening, I’ll cook something big the night before. Leftovers are a great way to still have a home-cooked meal without actually cooking. We try to cook 2 large meals a week so that we can have leftovers so there’s not as much stress associated with dinner.

Meal planning is also very beneficial to your budget because you’re only buying what you need from the market. I loathe grocery shopping and avoid it at all costs. By planning our meals, I’m able to head into the grocery store with a mission and I always accomplish my missions! Depending on which grocery store I go in, I have my list written down by aisle, so that I can save more time. I also group things together so I’m not walking all over the place – back and forth – spending more time than absolutely necessary inside.

If you use an A5 Filofax, here’s a free jotter download for you! I printed this on card stock and laminated it so that I can write on it with a dry erase marker. I also cut slits in the holes so I can move the jotter as I change pages. I always know what’s for dinner!

Download this FREE meal planner jotter insert for Filofax A5

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