It’s no secret that I battle emotional eating and it’s something I’ll battle every single day for the rest of my life. Here lately, it’s gotten the better of me and I’ve spent some time trying to figure out why I’m reverting back to old habits. I’ve been doing so well at staying on track with my food and exercise, but twice last week I found myself eating just to eat. Here’s what happened last week.
I had to have a thyroid biopsy done that worried the shit out of me. I’ve never had a biopsy of any sort done before and I didn’t know what to expect. Sure, the doctors communicated the procedure to me, but, until you’ve gone through it, you really don’t know exactly what to expect. My husband wasn’t allowed to come back with me and I was scared to death. I wasn’t able to workout before the biopsy and that alone put me in a rough mood.
The biopsy consisted of me lying on my back, with my head tilted up and to the right, while sinus drainage ran down my throat. I couldn’t clear my throat, cough or even swallow. Talk about being miserable. The doctor began by injecting lidocaine in my throat to numb the surface and then numbed the nodule on my thyroid. From there, 5 other needles were stuck into my throat to draw the cells out of the nodule.
The damn lidocaine didn’t work as well as I would have liked but I made it. My throat was sore all day and then the bruising began. I felt tired all day after that and just wanted to sleep. Of course, I couldn’t sleep because I had work to do. I ended up finishing my work somewhat early and lounged around the couch for the rest of the day. During that time, I drank several cans of ginger ale and ate 2 sleeves of saltine crackers. Damn…
This day was much better; I exercised in the morning like I normally do and managed to stay on track all day. I didn’t have any appointments and was able to go about my day as usual.
I had a second interview first thing in the morning, so no exercise again. The interview went well, I think, but I won’t know anything until Monday. I stopped at Dunkin’ on my way home to grab a medium iced coffee. When I got home, I had to get straight to work, which meant no time for a workout. I was slammed with work because I got a late start. I ended up eating a chocolate bunny and drinking the last several cans of ginger ale.
What Have I Learned?
I learned quite a bit about myself last week; some of it wasn’t new and some of it really irritated me. I don’t do well when my schedule is thrown off. Nothing new there. What I learned that really irritated me was that I’ll make any excuse to eat junk because that’s exactly what I did both days. I let my schedule being thrown off be the excuse for me to eat what I wanted, when I wanted.
I also learned that my battle with emotional eating is far from won. Both days last week were very stressful, in their own way, and I just didn’t handle it very well. I’m still stressed about the results of the biopsy but I’m not eating the stress away. I know eating doesn’t help my situation but that doesn’t stop me from doing it.
It looks like I’ve got a lot more work to do to overcome emotional eating. Learning new techniques and tricks are at the top of my to do list. I’m tired of sabotaging myself especially when I get so close to my goal!