Almost 2 years ago (August 2014), I reluctantly decided to have Mirena inserted into my body. I don’t need birth control because I had a tubal ligation almost 10 years ago. So, why did I get Mirena? Well, at the risk of sharing too much, I got it to control my heavy, very heavy, monthly flow. You see, what doctors won’t tell you about a tubal ligation is that you bleed like a stuck pig every freakin’ month and drop clots like you’ve just given birth. The pain associated with this mess is unreal and completely unnecessary.
After dealing with that for almost 9 years and being on 3 different types of birth control to control it, I decided to opt for the Mirena. I’m limited to what I can put into my body because my mom is a 2 time breast cancer survivor. Her cancer was estrogen and progesterone positive. What are the hormones in birth control? Ding, ding, ding – you got it! I “aged” out of the pill because I’m over 35 and I’m a smoker.
In the beginning…
When I had this sucker installed, it was the worst experience ever. My GYN told me I had to be on my period to make it easier and less painful to insert. Kiss my ass! I was coming up off that table and I cried like a baby. Check this out – I’ve had 2 c-sections so I know what pain is. That shit was horrible! I cramped the rest of the day and for weeks after that.
About 3 months into it, my body started to adjust. I no longer had to clear out the feminine hygiene aisle at Walmart and the cramping was minimal. I still had PMS though, much to my husband’s chagrin. That’s what he gets for not getting a vasectomy…just sayin!
A Year In…
Fast forward to September 2015 and shit started hitting the fan. My body was doing all sorts of things I didn’t tell it to do. There was severe cramping that doubled me over, chronic leg pain, and an irregular cycle like I had just gotten my period for the first time. I didn’t know what the hell was going on.
The cramping was fast and furious, just like contractions. The pain would go down my legs and my feet would sometimes go numb. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been doubled over because the pain is so severe. I felt like I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything. I tried to track it, like a good little patient, but there was no rhyme or reason. There was no pattern whatsoever.
Fortunately, I saw my GYN that month for a “string check” (glamorous, huh?) and told her about it. Her answer to me was, “Wait until spring to see if your body adjusts.” Well, I did and it didn’t.
A Year Later…
I called my primary doctor last month hell bent on getting this thing removed. It was a particularly bad day when I saw my primary and she saw first-hand just how severe my cramping was.
She did a physical exam to see if that little bugger moved but didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. She also ordered an x-ray just to make sure. From there, I had an ultrasound and a transvaginal ultrasound. Up next was an MRI. Apparently, my insides are perfectly normal and the mirena hasn’t moved. Wtf?! I’ve been on prescription pain meds since that visit. Lovely, right?
I finally got that bitch removed Friday morning. I’m back to where I started, buying up tampons and pads like they’re going out of style. At this point, I don’t care because the pain is gone! During the removal, literally felt the pressure leave when the mirena was gone. I can’t put into words how amazing that felt! I was really nervous about having it removed, especially when the nurse came in with ibuprofen for me to take beforehand. I was pleasantly surprised that I only felt one twinge of pain before the sweet release of everything. There was very little cramping after and no spotting. I felt fantastic!
I guess the hormones were out of my system come Sunday morning because I woke up to my period. Eh, oh well, it happens. But, what I didn’t wake up to was horrible, stabbing pains that doubled me over. Gotta take the good with the bad.