Most of us have this innate fear of failure; especially those of us who are Type A personalities. That would be me. But, after the transformation I’ve been on the past few months, I’ve realized I’ve failed more than I’ve succeeded. It’s been brought to my attention, especially in recent weeks, how much of a failure I really am. I may have failed to some degree but that doesn’t make me a complete failure.
Failed at Staying Connected
My work has picked up tremendously over the past 2 months or so and I’m enjoying every minute of it. However, I’m told, almost daily, that I’m a horrible friend because I don’t have as much time as I used to. Do I have time to shoot the shit at 10 in the morning? No. I’m working. Do I have the time to take an entire day off, neglect my bills and the needs of my family, and lose a day’s pay to hang out? Absolutely not. This isn’t a matter of priority either; it’s about asking me to do something you’re not willing to do. To these people, I have failed.
Failed at Being Consistent
When I first began this blog, I updated it regularly and worried myself sick about what to write. I basically made it my entire life. I haven’t been updating this as much as I should and that’s okay. I also haven’t been consistent with my weight loss progress as of late, which has caused me to gain a few pounds. Guess what? I’m okay with that. I’ve learned that everything isn’t going to be good at the same time and I have to accept that. When I first began my weight loss journey and this blog, I made it my entire life. I wasn’t working much, if at all, and it became my top priority. My priorities have since changed a bit. I’m not saying my health isn’t a top priority anymore; I have to find that balance and that’s eluded me thus far. I’m always going to be a work in progress, as are you, and that’s okay!
Failed at Making Others Happy
This is the one that kills me every time. In the past 2 weeks alone, I’ve managed to piss off someone every day, and I’m not counting my kids or my husband. Guess what? Your happiness is not created by anyone but you. You don’t have be happy with everything I say or do; I don’t care. Don’t get your panties in a knot because I’m not doing or saying what you think I should. This life is mine to live how I see fit. Can you have an opinion? Of course you can! Just understand that your opinion, while considered, isn’t gospel and I choose whether or not it matters to me.
Failed at Being Perfect
I’m not perfect. There, I said it. It’s taken me a long time and a lot of talk time in therapy to realize this. I don’t have to be perfect to be loved. In fact, it’s my imperfections that bring me the most joy. This week has been one of those weeks where nothing went right. Seriously – it was a week of Murphy’s Law. I bought a new whiteboard for my office and forgot to take off the film before I wrote on it. On another day, I thought I was charging my phone until I realized the charger wasn’t plugged into the wall. And, yesterday, I went to sit down at my desk after lunch, my chair moved, I didn’t, and my butt hit the floor. See what I mean? My house is a mess – laundry is piled up, clean and dirty, the sink of full of dirty dishes, the dishwasher is full of clean dishes, and I need to vacuum. But, I’m sitting here writing this post because I’m not perfect.
Why I Don’t Care
No matter what I do, say, think, or how I choose to live my life, someone is going to judge me. I don’t have time for that kind of stuff and I’m certainly not going to make time for it. Life happens, situations change, and people need to learn to understand that. I’m always going to fail at something according to one person or another. Oh well. Let’s not point out anyone else’s “failures” without fixing our own first.
In order for me to practice good self-care, I need to accept what is and move on. There’s no need to dwell on it because I can’t change anyone. I’m pretty bad ass but even I don’t have that kind of power. 😉 Here’s what makes me a bit different; I accept people for who they are – warts and all. I get my feelings hurt, I get disappointed, but I don’t hold it against them.
The next time you think you’ve failed at something, remember this post. I “fail” on a daily basis and there’s nothing I can do about it. Well, unless I want to live my life for other people and, trust me, I won’t be doing that! I’m not interested in changing who I am just to make a handful of people happy. If you truly love and care for me, you accept me for who and what I am and not just when it suits you.
What’s one of your “failures”? Share in the comments below!