It’s been almost 2 months since I’ve published anything here and I have no excuse for it. Life has overwhelmed me lately and I’m just now regaining my footing. I was somewhat prepared for this during the holidays but I was not prepared for the shit storm that has come my way. Because sharing is caring, here’s what life has been like for the past 60 days…

Shit Happens and How to Cope

Back in October, my oldest boy got himself into some trouble. Since he’s of legal age, mama can’t bail his ass out anymore. I tell ya, no matter how much you try to teach them and talk to them, eventually they’re going to do what they want to do. It took me a long time to realize that his actions aren’t a reflection of my parenting and I still struggle with that sometimes. Hopefully, this taught him a valuable life lesson and he’s learned from it.

Naturally, when this shit went down, I immediately texted my BFF, who’s been there for more than 25 years. Long story short, she and I are no longer friends (her decision, not mine). Why? Wish I could tell you. She unfriended me on Facebook because I posted something she didn’t like. I shit you not – I have the text message to prove it. I tried calling her to work it out but she never answered the phone.

That hurt me deeply and took me a long time to recover. But, I’ve learned a few things, about her and myself, since then. The most valuable lesson I’ve learned is that how other people treat you is a reflection of them – not you. People treat you according to what they’re going through at the time. It’s time to stop taking responsibility for other people’s shit; you have enough of your own shit.

Another lesson for me was that, sometimes, friendships don’t stand the test of time. No matter how long you’ve been friends, it doesn’t mean you’re going to be friends for the rest of your lives. Guess what? That’s ok! We have to constantly evaluate the people in our lives to see if they’re still in line with our goals. I’ve lost a few people over the years, only to realize later that it was for the best. Sometimes our “friends” don’t have our best interests at heart. Why would you want to surround yourself with people like that?

Outgrowing friends isn’t a bad thing. We outgrow almost everything at some point in our lives. In order to be successful in your life, you need to be surrounded by people who support you and want what’s best for you. Your friends shouldn’t have their own agenda for your life and you shouldn’t feel obligated to follow their plan.

I’m still struggling with this but it’s getting better every day. Moving into November, I had dental surgery the Tuesday before Thanksgiving, which made dinner interesting. If you recall, I had surgery the day before Thanksgiving last year. Let’s hope next Thanksgiving is uneventful! After that surgery, I came down with a sinus infection that left the right side of my face swollen. Once I got the echinacea on board, I was good to go.

Throughout all of this, I didn’t workout (well, maybe once or twice), which made me feel worse. Here’s the thing: working out clears my mind and helps me feel better about everything. But, when shit hits the fan, it’s the first thing I don’t do. What?! It’s a constant inner conflict that I need to get over. I come up with excuses for why I “can’t” workout.

The good news is….I lost weight during this time. I didn’t log my food and I ate what I wanted but I was very aware of my portion sizes. But, here’s the catch…

I now know that I don’t have to be so anal about logging my food and tracking calories. BUT – that’s usually where I tend to get myself into trouble. With that being said, I’m trying something different for the month of December. Instead of tracking calories in the Lose It! app, I’m writing down everything I eat in the new health section in my Filofax. Stay tuned for how that works out.

Shit happens to every single one of us. What separates us is how well we’re able to cope with it. Sometimes we turn inward and mentally and emotionally destroy ourselves. But, other times we’re able to turn outward and better ourselves. Do what it takes to be in that second category. Always remember that we’re works in progress – perfection doesn’t exist and setbacks will happen. It’s ok to slip up…just don’t stay there. Get back on that horse immediately and take care of YOU!