3 Reasons Taking Care of Yourself is NOT Selfish

Taking care of yourself isn't selfish so it's time to get to it. Here's how you can make it work!

As a working wife and mother, I know exactly what it feels like to come last. I put myself there for nearly 2 decades but it hurt everyone, especially me. You see, not taking care of yourself is selfish because you don’t love yourself as much as other people in your life love you. For women, setting aside time for self-care often feels selfish. But, in reality, the opposite is true. The next time you feel like you’re being selfish for taking care of yourself, consider these three points.

1. You’re Much Happier

Taking care of yourself is the best way to increase your happiness. How happy you are depends solely on you; nothing and no one has the power to make you happy. It’s an inside job.As Elle Woods said, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy and happy people don’t shoot their husbands.” When you’re happier, shit doesn’t get to you as much, which leads to less irritability.

2.  You’re Less Irritable

Taking care of yourself, specifically through diet and exercise, has a way of removing irritation from your life. Knowing that you’re feeding your body what it needs and you’re keeping active is the greatest form of self-love.

How amazing would it be to feel less irritable?

Moods are contagious so make sure you spread a good one! Your family, friends, coworkers, etc will thank you.

If you think taking care of yourself is selfish, think again. It's actually the most selfless thing you can do.

3. You’re Less Stressed

Exercise is the best form of stress relief available and it’s the one most often ignored. I’m guilty of this. When shit hits the fan and life becomes overwhelming, I know that exercise will help me feel better but I don’t do it. I always regret it.

How amazing would it be for you and your family to have a happier, less irritable, and less stressed you?

A Real-Life Example

Before I started taking care of myself, I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes. All of these are lifestyle conditions that could’ve taken me out without warning. Think about that – I could’ve died of a stroke all because I didn’t eat right or take 30 minutes to exercise. I could’ve left my family without a wife and mother. My family can function just fine without me for 30-45 minutes a day while I exercise, but an entire lifetime? I’m not ready to leave my family (no matter how crazy they make me) so I had a choice. I chose to take care of myself so I could stick around.

How to Make it Work

If you have children, you’re probably thinking that you can’t squeeze in time for yourself. Here’s the thing – you can if you change a few things. I understand that my children may be older than yours, but there are things you can do to make time for yourself. I follow a morning routine that may help you carve out that much-needed time for yourself. Have babies or toddlers? Take full advantage of nap time. So what if your house isn’t immaculate. The most important thing is to take care of yourself and your family, right? In the end, no one is ever going to say that you kept a clean house.

Because each of us have different obligations, schedules, and whatnot, it’s important to take a long, hard look at your schedule and start prioritizing your time. I can almost guarantee that you’ll find time for yourself if your schedule. Go look for it!

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A Full Week of Healthy Meals Just for You!

Healthy Meals

Finding healthy meals isn’t always fun; it can be downright stressful. You may want to eat the same things day after day….after day. For some of you, that’s not a big deal (I’m a creature of habit, too). But, for the rest of you, finding new healthy meals to try is a must if you’re going to maintain a healthy lifestyle.

I can’t tell you the number of hours I’ve spent scouring Pinterest for healthy meal options. I had to stop because I was getting nowhere. There are too many Healthy Meals: Bruschetta Chickenoptions and I got overwhelmed. So, I started thinking outside the box. Take my bruschetta chicken recipe, for example. I was in a mood one summer evening and wanted chicken and bruschetta.

I already had the bruschetta made because I had added it to my flatbread pizza earlier that day and I wanted to use it. Damn, it was good! Anyway, I grilled up my chicken tenderloin and topped it with the leftover bruschetta. Bam – there was dinner. I try to shy away from starch at dinner but you could pair that with a 1/4 cup of brown rice. Put it all on top of the rice, too!

The important thing to remember about food is that it can be fun! It doesn’t have to be boring and it shouldn’t be. If you’re bored with your meals, are you going to eat them. Nope.

A few healthy meals to help jump start your journey!

Finding Healthy Meals

Not only do I share recipes here, I’ve put together a few meal options for you to help you get started. Pop in your details to download your copy today.

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Taking some of the guesswork out of your meal plan. Download my sample week of meal options to help you jump start your journey!

Start putting together foods you like in ways you hadn’t thought about, like I did with the bruschetta chicken. Explore new ways of cooking; I did with my air fryer. A word of caution – don’t judge food based on how they smell. Sometimes, they can smell like ass and taste like heaven. While you’re online, check out my Pinterest boards to see the healthy meals I have there, too!

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2017 Was One Hell of a Year

2017 was one hell of a year and I learned so much!

It’s absolutely amazing just how much a year can change a person. This time last year, I was in such a bad place with just about everything in my life. This year, however, I couldn’t be happier! A lot has changed for me in such a short period of time and it’s been an amazing ride.

This time last year, I already had my weight loss plan in place but couldn’t execute for another month. Why? I was still recovering from my hysterectomy and was on a lot of restrictions. Once I was released, it was game on. I executed my plan immediately and I was so excited.

Fast forward to June and I was getting close to onederland and made the decision (in May) to become a health coach. The kid was out of school on summer vacation and I started getting up at 5 am. I was up and out the door on my walk by 7 am. Most days, I had my 10k steps in by 9 am.

June through October was pretty steady but shit hit the fan in the middle of October. It was a rough time for me, and a few other people in my life, which meant my activity was the first thing to go. I made the decision to stop exercising and made other things more important.

This trend continued off and on for the rest of 2017. I started to feel crappy and I had no one to blame but myself. It was eye opening for me because I had done so well for 3/4 of the year. It really made me think about and re-evaluate quite a few things in my life.

December was a month full of reflection for me and I’m forever grateful. I purged the house and my personal items of anything that was holding me back. 2017 is gone and I’m welcoming 2018 with open arms. I am so motivated to kick ass this year it’s almost annoying.

2018 holds many, many changes for myself and my family. The first quarter is going to be the most stressful but I’m working very hard to make it good stress instead of bad. While it may be cliché to refer to the New Year as a new beginning, that’s exactly what’s happening to my family. We’re on to new adventures and there’s no looking back.

It’s high time we say goodbye to 2017 and hello to 2018. I hope you all have a fantastic year and all your dreams come true.

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Time to Focus on Your 2018 Goals

Focus on Goals for 2018

2018 begins in just 2 days! This year went by so quickly and I’m looking forward to what’s next. Have you even thought about your goals for 2018? If you haven’t, now’s the time. What do you want to accomplish in 2018? Is there anything you want to change?

Before you can even start setting goals, you need to determine your focus. Your focus can be defined by answering one simple question…

What is important to you?

Ok, maybe the question isn’t that simple. But, if you chose a word for 2018, it shouldn’t be that hard to answer. My word for 2018 is consistent and my focus and goals are in line with that.

My Focus

For 2018, my focus is on my family, health & wellness, paying off debt, and keeping up with this blog. All of these things require consistency in order to be successful. Once I figured out my focus, setting my goals was easier.

My Goals

Remember, when setting goals, make sure they’re SMART: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely. My goals for 2018 are:

  • Take a family day trip once a month
  • Pay off 3 credit cards
  • Read 12 books
  • Try 1 new recipe per month
  • Exercise 5 days every week
  • Drink 5 bottles of water daily
  • Get 10k steps daily

As you can see, my goals are in line with my focus and my focus is in line with my word of the year. See how all that works together?

Try It

You may find that working backwards is better for you. Start out with a few goals; just some small things you want to achieve in 2018. Can you see a common theme among them? Maybe your goals are more financial or self-care related. The theme you see is your focus. Now, review your focus and find your word of the year.

Is one of your goals to be more active? Check out my latest 30 Day Fitness Challenge to get you started! It starts January 2 so grab your spot.

If this post seems repetitive, it’s because goal setting is very important. Even more important than setting goals is following through. It’s not enough to have good intentions. If you don’t follow through on your goals, you’ll never achieve them. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like wasting time and that’s how I see setting goals I’m not going to follow through on.

What are your goals for 2018?

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Baked Garlic Dill Flounder

Garlic Dill Flounder

Fish is one of the healthiest foods we can eat, right? Not always. You need to get wild caught, not farm raised, if you want to make a healthy meal. I came across wild caught flounder in BJ’s Wholesale Club (think Costco or Sam’s Club) a few months ago and bought a bag. I love white fish and the rest of my people love any kind of fish, so I figured we’d have fish for dinner.

Because I was so used to cooking one way (the unhealthy way), I had to figure out how to cook this stuff and have it be edible. Naturally, I took to Pinterest for inspiration. While I found a lot of interesting recipes, nothing jumped out at me shouting “Hey! Cook me!”. So, I did what anyone else would do…I threw some stuff together and this is what I came up with.

Looking for something different for dinner? Try this delicious Garlic Dill Flounder!

Baked Garlic Dill Flounder
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
Serves: 2
  • 2 Tbsp. minced garlic
  • 2 Tbsp. unsalted butter, cut up
  • 20 oz wild caught flounder fillets, thawed
  • Dill
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Spray 13x9 baking dish with olive oil cooking spray.
  3. Place fillets in baking dish and add just enough water to cover the bottom.
  4. Place butter on top of fillets and add minced garlic.
  5. Sprinkle with dill.
  6. Cover with aluminum foil and bake for 15 minutes, or until white and flaky.
Nutrition Information
Serving size: 10 oz Calories: 342 Fat: 16 Carbohydrates: 3 Sugar: 0 Sodium: 277 Protein: 48

This is one of my favorite dishes to make! It’s quick and easy and there aren’t a lot of dishes involved. I usually serve broccoli (my favorite!) with this but any green veggie would work. If you’re looking for something quick, easy, healthy, and different for dinner, this is it! Give it a try!


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NEW 30 Day Fitness Challenge Starts Jan. 2!

The new 30 Day Fitness Challenge starts Jan. 2! Don't miss it - sign up today!

New newest 30 day fitness challenge is here and it starts January 2! This new challenge works your entire body and gets your heart rate up.

Get signed up to make sure you have your copy of the challenge. It’s time to enter the new year stronger and better than ever!

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Tired of being overweight, tired, and in pain? Join my 30 day fitness challenge with me as your coach!

Once again, I’ll be sharing each day on Facebook and Instagram. Be sure to use #fitnesschallengewithbobbi on Insta so I can see your beautiful faces kicking ass!

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What’s Your Word of the Year for 2018?

Word of the Year

Have you ever heard of setting a word for the year? I’ve been hearing about it a lot in the planner community but I didn’t put too much thought into it…until now. It’s so important to set the tone for your day and it’s even more important to set the tone for your year. With the new year just around the corner, it’s time to find, commit to, and announce your word for 2018.

How to Find Your Word of the Year

Choosing your word for 2018 can seem like a daunting task but it doesn’t have to. I sat down one afternoon and really thought about 2017. I asked myself what I was happy with, what I wasn’t happy with, what could be improved, etc. I took notes during this reflection and the recurring theme became my word of the year. For example, if your 2017 left you feeling like you were always broke, your word of the year could be frugal. If you’re like me, you may find yourself wanting to choose more than one word but don’t do that! Focus on the most important area for you and you’ll find that those other areas may fall into place on their own.

How to Commit to Your Word of the Year

Choosing your word, writing it down, and/or telling others about it is the easy part. The hard part is committing to it. How do you commit to a word? Well, for me, I like to have a plan (surprise, surprise). Once I chose my word of the year, I thought about what I needed to do to work on it every day. This word is your goal and I’ve found that an inverted triangle works best for me. Goal setting has a trickle down effect, meaning that you need to see the big picture and work it all the way down to your day-to-day life. This is where most people go wrong when setting resolutions (ahem!) and why most of us don’t stick to our long-term goals. Here’s the inverted triangle…

Goal Setting Inverted Triangle

Once you’ve selected your word, think about what you need to do every month to achieve your goal. Is that saving $20? Is it reading 1 book? Whatever it is, set your monthly goals. Then, take those monthly goals and break them into weekly tasks. If your monthly goal is to save $20, you could save $5 each week. If your goal is to read 1 book, simply divide the number of chapters/pages by 4 to see how much you should read each week. Now, do the same thing with your weekly tasks; break them down into daily tasks. Want to save $5 each week? Put $1 a day in an envelope in a safe place until you’re ready to make your weekly/monthly deposit. Want to read 3 chapters a week? Divide the number of pages by 5 (or 7) to see how many pages per day you should read to reach your goal.

Breaking your goals down into much smaller tasks is a much more manageable way to achieve them. And, bonus, if you’re into instant gratification, like most of us are, you’ll see results every single day! Working on your long-term goal every day will make it much easier for you to achieve it. There’s no need to try to cram it all in or rush to get it done. You’re taking the necessary steps every day to make sure you achieve it. And, breaking your long-term goal down like this is much less stressful on you, which is always a good thing. Seems like a lot of work, right? Well, duh! Achieving goals isn’t for the faint of heart, ya know. You have to put in work, but I guarantee you, it’ll be worth it in the end.

Sharing Your Word

Sharing your word with friends, family, or an online community of like-minded folks creates accountability for you. It’s not about those people; it’s about creating a support system for you that holds your feet to the fire so you reach your goal. Even if you think it’s a silly or small goal, share it anyway! If your goal is to read 12 books this year, share that with your partner, children, friends, or whomever so that they know you need some quiet time to read each day. If you choose not to share your goals, don’t get pissed when people don’t support you in the way you need; they’re not mind readers.

My Word of the Year

For most of 2017, I was on point with food and exercise. As the year progressed, I slacked off…big time. Once the weather got cold, that was it for me. Some things happened in October that really threw me for a loop and I went off the rails. Not too much, but I still went off.

With that being said, my word of the year is CONSISTENT. I’m going to be more consistent with my diet and exercise. I have other goals for 2018 as well but this is my main focus. My word is very broad but I was very specific with what I want to be more consistent.


When setting any goal it’s important to make them SMART – specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely. Because my word is broad, I made it more specific by indicating that I want to be more consistent with my diet and exercise. How is this measurable? For me, I’m going to measure my progress using my planner, a monthly habit tracker, the Lose It! App and my food/exercise journal. If I eat it, it’s being logged…the same with exercise. Is this goal attainable? Yep. How about realistic? Can I realistically become more consistent? You bet! The timely part is the timeframe in which you want to achieve your goal. Can I become more consistent in a year. Abso-freakin-lutely!

I’ve applied this practice to all of the steps to achieve my goal and I urge you to do the same. It doesn’t take long, so carve out about an hour and make your yearly, monthly, weekly, and daily goals SMART. Can you realistically save $1 a day? Of course you can! Is your savings goal specific? Your goal must be specific before you can move forward with the other steps. I don’t want to hear that your goal is to “get healthy” in 2018. What does that mean? Healthy is different to every one of us. Be specific! Is “healthy” to you losing 30 pounds? If so, that’s your goal.

It's time to choose your word of the year! I've chosen mine and I wanted to share my tips with you.

Now is the time to prepare for the new year. Set your intention, goal, tone. Be brutally honest with yourself because that’s the only way you’re going to see lasting changes. If you don’t like something in your life, you’re the only one who has the power to change it. Empower yourself to have the best 2018 you can have!

What’s your word for 2018?

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