Life

My ‘Making A Murderer’ Obsession

Making a Murderer

Spolier! Don’t be mad if you read this without watching the series.WARNING

Like millions of others, I’ve become obsessed with the Netflix documentary ‘Making a Murderer’. It draws you in from the first second and keeps you wanting more. Yes, it’s a one-sided portrayal of what’s happened to Steven Avery, but it’s not something you can easily pull away from.

I hadn’t heard of this until about a week or so ago (I guess I was living under a rock), but, now, I can’t get enough. I’ve become full on obsessed with this case! I’ve been watching and reading everything I can just to make sense of it.

I’m left with more questions than answers and I’m not alone. My Facebook community is just as perturbed about it as I am. Unfortunately, there isn’t a whole lot of concrete evidence in this case. I don’t see how the jury could have convicted either of them, but that’s my opinion.

I read an article by Donnie Wahlberg about the similarities between this case and the OJ Simpson case. I remember that case very well despite my age at the time. How could anyone not remember that case? First of all, contrary to this article, I don’t see how these cases are similar to each other in the least. Wahlberg also stated that people thought OJ was guilty because he’s black and people think Avery is not guilty because he’s white. Well, psssh on that! Conversely, one could state that OJ was acquitted because he’s black while Avery was found guilty because he’s white. But, I’m not getting into a discussion on race here.

The Steven Avery case hasn’t answered any questions; it’s posed more. I want to know how the police know, without a doubt, that Teresa Halbach was sexually assaulted. I’m not in a position to say she was or she wasn’t and neither are they. We do know that all that was found of her were her bones, and, correct me if I’m wrong, bones don’t determine whether or not anyone has been sexually assaulted. Where is all the blood from the crime? Let’s be real – Steven Avery isn’t someone who keeps his home immaculate. There’s no way in hell he could’ve cleaned up all that blood!

And, what about poor Brendan Dassey? It’s quite obvious that this kid wasn’t fully aware of what was going on. He was also found guilty of mutilation of a corpse while Steven was found innocent of that charge. How does that make sense? His account of what allegedly happened to Halbach has changed more times than I can count, but his recollection of what he actually did that day hasn’t changed at all.

This whole case has me befuddled to no end and it’s just not right. I don’t see how Avery or Dassey had a fair trial and here’s why:

  1. Change of venue to Calumet Co but jurors were from Manitowoc Co.
  2. Manitowoc Co police weren’t supposed to be involved in the investigation but they’re the ones who found the damning evidence

If that’s not enough to warrant a new trial, what is? I don’t understand, for the life of me, why this entire town is out to get this one family, and maybe they aren’t. We’ll never really know. I find it ironic that Halbach’s ex-boyfriend was the one to lead the search but he wasn’t present during the trial. I’m not saying he’s guilty, but it’s kinda funny he wasn’t there to see how things played out. And, what about her roommate who failed to report Halbach missing?

This man was already convicted once of a crime he didn’t commit and spent 18 years of his life in prison. During that time, he lost his wife and children. That’s not to say he’s 100% innocent of this crime, however. I just don’t believe he did it. There are too many questions left unanswered and I don’t see how any jury could have reached a guilty verdict in good conscience. I hope those people are able to sleep at night.

One thing about it; we’ll all meet our maker one of these days, no matter what you believe, and we’ll be held accountable for what we’ve done or what we haven’t done here on Earth. I’m not saying that Avery and Dassey are guilty or not guilty; I’m saying that there are more questions than answers and I don’t understand how a guilty verdict could have been reached.

What’s your take on ‘Making a Murderer’? Comment below!

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In the Beginning I was 278 Pounds…

In the Beginning I was 278 Pounds...I had my 6 month check up on Monday and I weighed in at a whopping 278 pounds. This is the largest I’ve ever been and I’m not going to stand for it anymore. At the end of this check up, I learned, not only do I still have high blood pressure and high cholesterol, but I also have type 2 diabetes. I’ve been teetering on the edge for quite some time but I never thought I’d fall. Well, it looks like I was wrong.

Like everyone else who struggles with weight loss, I’ve tried just about everything to lose the pounds. My problem is that, while I have good intentions, my follow through sucks balls! Each time, I’ve started strong only to hurt myself or let something throw me off course. Right now, I no longer have that option. Despite how I feel or what I’d rather do, my health must be front and center of everything in my life. I’ve made it clear to myself and everyone around me that I don’t love myself and that stops now.

I guess it was sometime last year, when I was floating around in the pool, that my brain started chattering away about me. It was so intense that I had to get out of the pool and write it all down. It just wasn’t going to let it go. So, out I got and wrote until my brain finally shut up about it. Here’s what I figured out (and, yes, it still applies):

What do I like about myself?

  1. Sense of humor
  2. Compassionate
  3. Intelligent
  4. Legs
  5. Hands
  6. Face
  7. Hair

What don’t I like about myself?

  1. Weight/Health
  2. Boobs
  3. Perfectionist tendencies
  4. I expect too much
  5. Acne scars
  6. Laziness

How can I change what I don’t like?

1. I need to exercise for at least 30 minutes each day. I need to eat better foods; more whole grains, fruits, and veggies. I need to track all of my food and exercise using the LoseIt app. I must exercise first thing in the morning so that I actually do it!

2. Unless I have plastic surgery, there’s not a whole lot I can do about this one. My boobs don’t bother me enough to willingly have surgery that’s going to render me virtually useless for a few weeks.

3. I don’t want to settle for close enough is good enough, but I don’t want to keep adding stress to my life either. I have to learn to accept that my best is good enough. Not everyone is going to be happy with me or what I do, but I’m not responsible for anyone’s happiness but mine.

4. I need to learn to expect absolutely nothing or to accept that whatever wasn’t meant to be. Basically, I need a more positive outlook on things and people. Not everyone is as thoughtful or considerate as me.

5. These scars could be much worse than they are and I’m grateful they aren’t. I could spend hundreds of dollars on chemical peels, which would lessen the scars but leave me confined to the house because of peeling. Or, I can accept them as a badge of courage and find new techniques to covering them using makeup.

6. I need to just get things done so that I can stay on track. Even if I don’t want to do it, I have to suck it up and get it done. I need to remind myself that the more I get done, the less I have to do the next day. What an example to set for the boys!

This was all well before my diagnosis but it definitely still applies. Maybe diabetes was the kick in the ass I needed – I don’t know. I’d hate to think that I let myself get this far gone before I took action but, let’s be real, that’s exactly what happened. I failed at taking care of myself – period. I could ramble off excuse after excuse but that’s the real deal.

How did I let myself get to 278 pounds?!

The answer is simple – I ate what I wanted, when I wanted, and I didn’t exercise. I was lazy. I struggle with emotional eating, skipping meals, and always making excuses as to why I can’t do this or can’t do that. My favorite go-to excuse was that I didn’t have time. Bullshit! I didn’t make time – there’s a difference. I waited until the last horn blew to get off my ass and do something about it. I’m a triple threat and not in the way I want to be but I’ll get there.

So, what I am doing differently now?

Well, as of Monday, my entire world changed. It’s all whole grains for me, counting calories and carbs, and cutting way back on sugar. That was the hardest because I love my iced coffees from Dunkin’ Donuts. I started Metformin today and I’ve also been testing my glucose once a day. Now that’s a pain in the ass! The Metformin is no walk in the friggin’ park either. It’s like trying to swallow a dime. I grew out of that stuff a long time ago! 😉 I’ve researched the hell out of type 2 diabetes. I’m talking recipes, carb counts, glucose levels, everything. I’ve spent a lot time really learning about it and taking it all in.

What’s to come?

Who the hell knows but I can tell you this – I will NEVER see 278 pounds again! I know – never say never – but, trust me when I say that I will never see it again. I’m not going to let it happen!

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Stop Apologizing for these 5 Things Now!

Stop Apologizing for these 5 Things Now!Apologizing is something that we’re taught to do when we’ve made a mistake or done something wrong. It’s important to apologize when it’s necessary but how do you know when it’s necessary? There are many things we currently apologize for that we shouldn’t and it’s time to stop – NOW! To help you get started, here are 5 things to stop apologizing for.

Saying No

You don’t need to apologize for saying no to anyone. It’s important for you to set and keep boundaries with everyone in order to keep your sanity. Trust me, saying yes to everything gets old – fast. Saying no says that you have respect for yourself and that you’re more interested in taking care of yourself than being everything for everyone.

I usually feel guilty when I have to tell someone no but that feeling, eventually, goes away. It’s not a good feeling but I’d rather feel that bit of unnecessary guilt than resentment because I agreed to do something I really didn’t want to do or have the time to do.

If you can’t give 100%, why say yes? If you don’t have time, why say yes? If you don’t want to do it, why say yes? These are the questions you should ask yourself when someone asks you to do something.

Your Imperfections

By nature, humans are not perfect beings so stop apologizing for not being perfect. Always be true to yourself and embrace your imperfections because they make you who you are. Being imperfect allows room for growth and improvement and that makes us better versions of ourselves.

No matter what your imperfections are, we all have them. No matter what anyone says, no one is perfect and that’s a fact. Just in case you need a reminder, here ya go.

Don-t-compare-your-backstage-to-someone-else-s-hig
Image courtesy: http://boldomatic.com/view/post/rTaTaA

Taking Time for Yourself

We all need time to refresh and recharge and that’s exactly what time alone does. I generally spend every Saturday alone and I relish every minute of it. Even though I’m usually catching up on housework, I’m still alone – not having to listen to anyone fight and argue.

Being alone with your thoughts and emotions provides you an opportunity to get to know yourself on a deeper level. Spend this time doing something you enjoy. For me, I get my chores out of the way first and then I spend the rest of the day reading, swimming (weather permitting) or whatever else I enjoy.

Another Person

Despite what you may think or believe, you’re only responsible for your behavior. If you do something that isn’t right, by all means apologize, but don’t apologize for another person. It’s not your place to take responsibility for anyone else’s behavior.

There have been times when I’ve apologized for my children but they’re the only ones I will apologize for – up to a point. I refuse to ever apologize for another grown person; they know how to behave. If they don’t, they’re never too old to learn.

Being Honest

It’s true – sometimes the truth hurts but there’s no reason to apologize for being honest. There’s a big difference between honest and being rude so be sure you’re aware of that. There’s no need to be rude so always be tactful. Being honest shows just how strong you truly are and that should be celebrated.

The Point

It’s time to stop apologizing for everything – especially those things that are out of your control. Furthermore, never, ever compromise your integrity for anyone else because it’s just not worth it. If you’re always true to yourself everything else will fall into place.

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